The BEST you will ever see ...

2007 will go down as possibly the most infamous year in baseball history. Move over Chicago Black Sox, "Shoeless" Joe is about to have some company. His name is Barry Lamar Bonds and he is about to pass Hank Aaron as baseball's all time homerun leader. And maybe, just maybe Barry is the greatest baseball player you will ever see!!!!

Barry enters, what is believed to be his final season, needing only 22 homeruns to pass Hank Aaron as baseball's all-time homerun leader. Last season, he struggled to start the 06 campaign. Between finding his timing and just "trying to hard" Barry looked as if the injuries finally caught up to him. Barry ended the season strong, posting numbers that, for Barry Bonds, were sub par but overall not too bad.
(.270 avg. 26 Homeruns 77 RBI)

This season is a fresh start for #25. Barry entered the Giants camp full of life and ready to play ball like Barry Bonds. In the Giants first workout, on his first swing of his first at bat, Barry showed why he worked so hard this off season. With a small stride, a lightening quick top hand, and a baseball rapidly leaving the ball park, Barry showed everyone why 2007 will not be a replay of 2005 or 2006!!

Growing up in Western Maryland, I loved the Pittsburgh Pirates. I remember when Jeremy, Dave and I would play baseball at Washington Middle School. We all would take the outfield and we would "claim" a player. Dave would be Bobby Bonilla. Jeremy would be Andy Van Slyke. And, of course, I would Barry Bonds. Dude, I would even slap my leg with my glove as I waited to catch a fly ball a la Barry! The Pirates of the early 90's is where my love of baseball began. I can still name that entire team. Baseball was great then.And everyone knew that there was a Superstar to be playing left field for Pittsburgh. A 5 tool player who reminded us of Willie Mays, who even wore #24.

It has been almost 15 years since those days. Barry moved home to the Bay and the Pirates have moved to the basement. Kind of like that 35 year old dude living in his Mom's basement, listening to Motley Crew, proudly wearing a heavy metal mullet, smoking some Winstons and drinking Milwaukee's Best. But Barry's career was taking off! As more media exposure descended upon Barry, many people began to turn on him. He was labeled as cocky, arrogant, hard to please, and a bad teammate. The anti-Barry campaign really took off when he and former teammate Jeff Kent began fighting in the dugout during a game.



On June 25, 2002, cameras were rolling as Barry and Kent were seen engaged in a shouting match that quickly escalated into Barry shoving Jeff Kent. Both were key parts to the Giants success. But clearly the dugout was not big enough for the 2 monstrous egos. Well, it's almost 5 years later and Barry is still in town. Coincidence, I think not! The Giants finally figured out how much of a "tool" Kent is. Kent signed a HUGE contract. In that contract, was a revision that forbid him from riding a motorcycle. Kent decided to ride the bike. Then he pulled a Ben "Toothlessberger," wrecked the bike and messed his hand up, hurting the Giants season in the process.

Barry does not want to be in the lime light. He merely wants to go out, do his job and go home to his kids. Why is Barry stereotyped as a bad person? Charles Barkley had a Nike ad. where he said he wasn't a role model nor did he want to be a role model. Then in another occassion, he got drunk at a bar and threw a guy through a window and he has an admitted gambling problem. Yet, we love him. I could give you a list of screwed up people who we like way more than Barry. (Can you say John Daly?) Barry has every right not to talk to the media or any of us. If I were BB, I would have already tried to run reporters down with my car. If Barry would get on TV and say, "Baseball has been very, very good to me." Would we accept him? As I recall Mark McGwire, Rafeal Palmeiro and Sammy Sosa all testified in front of a Congressional Grand Jury. Big Mac and Mr. Viagra said that they had nothing to do with any performance enhancing drugs. Sosa said he couldn't even speak English. Aren't all 3 lies? Why do we not hear about investigation about possible indictments because of perjury?


If you were to poll most baseball fans, 75% would say that they dislike Barry. If you go to Los Angeles, many would probably wish bodily harm or an STD on the Giants left fielder. Barry takes all of that in stride. It is kind of like he gets stronger as people hate him. ESPN's Pedro Gomez, who seems to be EVERYWHERE Barry is, asked Barry what it is like to be booed in every away stadium. Barry said one of the greatest sports one liners ever. Barry said, "Hey, when you're being booed by 50,000 people, you know you're good!"

Though Barry is being booed by 50,001 people. The last and possibly most important person is baseball commissioner Bud Selig. The following are 3 ideas that I have about the whole Bud Selig/Barry Bonds circus.

1. He does not want Barry Bonds to break this record.
Selig hates Barry. Selig was not in attendance when Barry passed Willie Mays. Selig was not in attendance when Barry passed Babe Ruth. It may be safe to say that Jack Bauer may be called in to foil a terrorist plot when Barry gets close to 755. Plain and simply, Bud wishes Barry would just go away!

2. Bud Selig feels a connection to Hank Aaron.
Hank Aaron has been and will continue to be a great ambassador for the game of baseball. Hank broke the record for the Atlanta Braves. Who were the Milwaukee Braves. When Milwaukee finally got a team again, the Brewers, they were owned by Bud Selig. Does it feel like that 6 degrees to Kevin Bacon game yet?

3. Former owners of baseball teams shouldn't be allowed to have ANY power!
Remember the debacle of the All Star game a few years ago that ended in a tie in the 11th inning? Yeah that was Bud Selig's fault! Would it be fair to say that as he was the Chief Executive of the Milwaukee Brewers, perhaps Bud would dislike a franchise or 2? Are there teams or players Bud has animosity towards? Like, for instance, Theo Epstein (I know he does not own the Red Sox!) would ever become the Commissioner of Major League Baseball would he treat the New York Yankees fairly? Or would he come up with an "A Rod Clause." A clause stating that psychologists, tanning products, hair gel, and playoff success was a banned substance. As funny as that seems, it would not be very fair!
Still not convinced that former owners should not be allowed to have any high ranking power .....
NEED I SAY MORE ....


But you know what? Bud Selig NEEDS Barry! Like him or not, thousands of people flock to see him. They cheer him or they boo him, regardless, Barry puts butts in seats. Thus, making a lot of money for Mr. Bud Selig as well as all owners. Bud must find a way to coexist with Barry. C'mon, how long did David Stern put up with Dennis Rodman? I think Bud can put up with Barry for a season or two. These 2 remind me of Ricky Bobby and Jacques Girard.
"God needs the Devil. The Beetles needed the Rolling Stones. Even Diane Sawyer needs Katie Couric. Can you be my Katie Couric?"


Barry Bonds will break Hank Aaron's record. And yes, Barry Bonds will always have the BALCO stuff and other negative press surrounding him. But in a day and age where he is targeted for steroids, but yet a 40+ pitcher who can still throw mid 90's for 6 or 7 innings is not questioned (I'm looking at you Roger), he is still the best player you will watch!!!

Along with my blogs, I am going to start doing surveys.

Today's survey:

Can you pick out the real Bud Selig?




OR













Smile on people ...smile on!

Take me out to the ballgame ....

I don't care that we were blanketed with 6 inches of fresh snow. It's baseball season! I don't care that my basketball team just had it's first game. It's baseball season! I don't care that the Red Sox haven't even played an inter-squad game. It's baseball season. Do you want to know why I am so overzealous? Do you want to know why I am acting like a hyperactive kid on a caffeine bender? 1 word. 2 syllables.
MANNY.

Red Sox slugger Manny Ramirez showed up to camp on Friday. Now, I know what you're saying, "So what, everyone else was already there." And that is very, very true. But you see Manny had "special permission" to tend to the medical needs of his mother. His tentative arrival in Fort Myers was scheduled for Thursday March 1, at the earliest. But to the delight of the entire Red Sox Nation, Manny showed up 3 days earlier than expected. This simply means that either Manny is ready to start playing ball or he just got confused where he was and arrived at the facility on accident. (Let's go with the first idea!)

Manny enters season # 7 with the Boston Red Sox. Though this year, Manny is in an unfamiliar role. Comeback. Every "professional" baseball writer has Manny Ramirez losing his game, heck, he is even losing value in most fantasy baseball leagues! This season Manny will show everyone why he is the most feared right handed batter in baseball today still and a sure fired 1st ballott Hall of Famer!

In the final 6 weeks of the 2006 Season, Manny only played in 8 games. However, Manny wasn't the only Sox player to be banged up. Varitek was missed (See our pitching staff). Coco Crisp was playing injured. Papelbon, who was "lights out' during the first half, was out due to injury and Jon Lester was out with Cancer. But you see these things tend to go around full circle. Manny will be Manny. Varitek is healthy (Enter a cheer from the pitchers). Coco will be making us ask who Johnny Damon is by July. Papelbon is about to take his spot in the best rotation in Major League Baseball. And most importantly, Jon Lester is cancer free.

Now, I am well aware that it is early. For goodness sake's it's not even March yet and I am already "giddy" about this season. Though I am trying to curb my enthusiasm, especially after last year's collapse, I know now that baseball is a marathon and not a sprint. But we are out of the gate and in a hurry! Apparently we have the same trainer as Ben Johnson and Marion Jones!

But c'mon, give me a break. I have plenty of reasons to be excited:

Dice K - At first I was a little apprehensive about this whole thing. It cost 50 million dollars just to talk with the guy. However, I am slowly coming around on the notion of Dice K. The Red Sox will easily get the money back in jersey sales as he will become a global commodity.Though, I thought one thing was funny. After Dice K, Francona and Theo had the press conference holding up the #18 Sox jersey, the Red Sox website was quickly trying to make a quick buck. The site said, "Get your official Dice K jersey." They weren't official jerseys! They were recycled Johnny Damon jerseys !!! One more thing about my new favorite Japanese player, the gyroball. Is this thing legit or is it the result of a long night of sushi, karaoke and Japanese beer?

Curt Schilling - Is there anything that Curt is not an expert about? Well he can't predict the futre! The Red Sox opted not to re-sign Schill until after the season. I believe this is a smart move. Make Curt earn the 10-15 million he will be asking for. In the past 2 seasons he is 23-15 with an ERA of 4.86. Seriously, would you pay that much for this production? But Red Sox fans don't fret, Curt will be back. And he will be making his weekly rants on WEEI. Want to know why? He has made it painfully obvious that he has aspirations to run for some kind of office in Massachusetts. (Oh my gosh, I just had a vision .... Ted Kennedy and Curt Schilling together. I need a hug and a shower!) But Curt will go out and have a monster year, because there will be a check waiting for him!

Big Papi- Now I have not been to Fort Myers. But I have been reading reports and seeing video tape of David Ortiz and dude is ready to play. Big Papi must have joined that weight loss system that Dan Marino is selling. Papi reported to camp in the best shape of his playing career. OK, this is for you New York, Toronto, Baltimore and Tampa Bay. Manny is focused (by baseball not just shiny things) and Papi is in better shape. Your ERA'a are about to go up as high as Rosie O'Donnell's cholestorol!

JD Drew- The signing of "injury proned" Drew came under more fire than the Dice K negotiations. Yes, JD Drew has had his share of injuries. However, JD says those days are far behind him. Apparently JD has started a new dietary program. One that is solely based on eating foods found in the scriptures of the Bible. Let's hope for JD that this "divine diet" produces "heavenly health." Think about it ... Manny, Papi, and JD Drew pretty darn good!

CoCo Crisp- Seriously, I feel for this guy. He comes into Boston with the responsibility of making us forget all about Johnny Damon. Though injuries prevented us from finding our new Centerfielder. I believe CoCo has the most to prove in Boston in 2007. However, he has given us glimpses of what he can do. Last season, the Sox were playing the Mets at Fenway. Mets third baseman, David Wright sent a laser into the left/center gap. Coco sprints and makes possibly the second best catch of the season! He's going to be healthy this year folks. And he is going to do some remarkable things. Just you watch!

Jon Lester- This story is far more than just about a baseball player. Lester overcame Cancer and is now preparing to pitch this season.The organization backed him, his teammates backed him and the Red Sox Nation backed him. Jon Lester is Boston. Jon Lester exemplifies what Boston is. And if Jon Lester gets traded for Todd Helton or Chad Cordero after this ... I will feel stupid!

Let's go "idiots" ... "Cowboy Up" .... "We Believe," do whatever you have to do. We want another ring wicked bad!

PS. I'm missing the "Dirt Dog" already!

Reggie, not you!

A couple of years ago ESPN.com's SportsNation ran a mock election to run parallel with 2004 Presidential election. Instead of Bush vs. Kerry, this election pitted the Progressive Party against long time nemesis the Purist Party. Progressives love jumbo trons, sushi at Seahawks games, camouflage retro jerseys, eccentric touchdown celebrations and the Playstation3. Where as Purists love listening to replays on their walkmans, beer and hot dogs at Baltimore Colts games, Joe Thiesmann's single bar facemask and the Atari 2600. In 2004, the SportsNation canvassed the entire country looking for candidates to rule over the entire sports world. Millions of people emailed ESPN.com and gave their views on sports as well as their affiliation to each side. When the dust settled and the tumbleweed tumbled its way across the scene, 2 candidates were left standing. Each of whom would battle for one coveted spot. Vice President of the SportsNation. To my surprise, the candidate of the Progressive Part was my good friend Jamaal. It was awesome. He was featured on ESPN.com, did a phone interview, he took questions from fans in a debate style format and they even made an animated Jamaal on the website. Though this is a cool story and Jamaal and I did have some great sports experiences ( Like in 2004 when I explained to him how the Boston Red Sox could and WOULD overcome an 0-3 deficit to the Yankees to win the ALCS), this blog is not about Jamaal or his bid for SportsNation immortality. I was reminded of the whole Progressive/Purist debate this past weekend as I watched the
New Orleans Saints and Chicago Bears in the NFC Championship game.

For me anticipation was at a very high level. It could be compared to the excitement of the Celebrity Boxing producers from FOX during this whole Donald Trump/Rosie O'Donnell thing.(Can 2 people, not named Terrell Owens and Jerry Jones, be more irritating?) The "Monsters of the Midway" featuring that intimidating defense against the "feel good story" of all professional sports and offensive juggernaut !!!!! Brees vs. Grossman, Thomas Jones vs. Deuce McCallister, and Reggie Bush vs. Brian Urlacher. Wow. I thought it would be a few years until Bush was thrown onto the largest, well second largest, stage, the Conference Championship. Everyone in the house was asleep ( Just so I wouldn't wake Briley and Lindsay up, I watched the game on mute ... actually very peaceful!). However I was wide awake, I swear Hank Williams Jr was in my bathroom singing, "Are you ready for some football?"

The very second after Vince Young and his Texas Longhorns "upset" Reggie, Leinart and the gang, we were thrown into Mel Keiper Jr. land. All we heard was draft projections and comparisons. Reggie was definitely going to be a Texan, but wait Vince Young is from Houston, he's going to be a Texan, but wait Mario Williams is a cornerstone defensive player, he's going to be a Texan, but wait Emmitt Smith is on "Dancing with the Stars," he's never allowed in Texas again. Regardless of where Reggie would be come training camp, he was destined for greatness. Reggie Bush could be the next Barry Sanders, the next Walter Payton or even the next Gale Sayers. A silky smooth runner, with the vision and instinct of all 3 of the aforementioned backs. A human highlight reel (sorry Dominique) that could max out your TiVo in one game. And here is what people seem to like the most about Reggie. His professionalism. Reggie is a player from "Generation Next" who plays like he has done it all before. No self promotion. No fear that he will get into a drunken brawl outside of a strip joint. No fear that he will attempt to board a plane with a mysterious parsley-like, pungent substance that somehow does not prove to be marijuana. Reggie Bush is a Progessive athlete yet a Purist's dream. He has today's style with yesterday's class. However, this theory came under fire one snowy Sunday in January at Soldier Field.

After graduation from high school, we all thought it would be fun to enter our church in the local Adult Sunday School Basketball League. My friend Jeremy, my cousin Dave and I along with other good players made up a pretty good core of players. However there was one road block ahead of us. There was a rival team in this league composed of former All Area players. This seriously was a Western Maryland High School All Star team. They were still good players! I remember when we played them. We held our own. We were undersized and outmanned but we played a great first half. At halftime, we were only down by 6 points and feeling very good. As the buzzer sounded a 747 Jumbo Jet hit our chances of winning at 500 mph. Dave is a VERY,VERY outspoken person. As both teams walked back to their bench for halftime, Dave started mouthing off and taunting the other team, he even pushed one of their players down! You got to love Dave, when we were kids we were always waiting to see what he would do next. (Though having a child has mellowed him out big time ... Im talking elephant tranquilizer mellow!!!) As Dave walked off the court, Jeremy grabbed him and said something that I had forgotten about until Sunday when Reggie Bush seemed to have brought the Saints back. You know, when Reggie broke off that 90 yard run after the catch, followed by pointing at Brian Urlacher, followed by flipping into the end zone, and then followed by whatever dance that was. Jeremy said, "What are you doing? You do not want to piss guys like this off!" Boy, was he right!! I think we lost by 30 that game. All because the other team got motivated to kick our butts! Just as the Saints, we had this team on the ropes. They were reeling. Yet, we motivated them ... and they woke up!

When Reggie pointed at #54, flipped in the endzone and then danced, he loaded the gun that would end the Saints season. When this happened I said aloud, "No Reggie, don't do it!" The Saints had the Bears going in reverse. They were shocked and so were the fans at Soldier Field. The Saints were in control. That is until Reggie awakened them from their hibernation. When Reggie pointed/flipped/danced the score became 16-14 in favor of Chicago, the "Saints WERE coming," or so it seemed. However, after this play the Bears scored 25 unanswered points. The Bears defense became revitalized and played the same football it did in October.

Now Reggie will have to watch Super Bowl 41 like the rest of us, enjoying a great game, great commercials and praying that there are no "costume malfunctions" during the Prince halftime show. I am still astounded by "the powers that be" signing Prince to perform the halftime show at the largest televised sporting event in the country. That would be like having The Wiggles open for Metallica on their 2007 World Tour!

Smile on people, Smile on!

Art Monk: Hall of Famer minus the "Hoop-la"

This Christmas, Lindsay, Briley, my Mom and I drove back to my hometown of Cumberland, Maryland to celebrate the holidays with my family. It was a very productive Christmas us. I am not sure what we did but somehow we impressed Santa. I bought Lindsay the 3rd Season of "The OC," and the first 2 seasons of "Party of Five," along with some books and other little things she loves. As for Briley, we need to build an addition just for all of the toys she got. Man, they light up, they spin, they make noises, they vibrate they do everything, especially cause Daddy to step on them and fall down! And as for me, there was no coal in my stocking! I got the 9th season of the Simpsons, the 1st "24," the 7th "West Wing," a new putter, a pull cart for my clubs, a Veritek jersey to wear to Yankee Stadium, a Santana Moss lithograph, the newest U2 album (a must buy!) and many other things to make my Christmas a "Very Merry" one. However it was in Maryland where my cousin/brother and fellow Redskins enthusiast got me a gift that he knew would get me worked up. I remember opening the present. I then remember hearing Dave say to everyone, "Watch this!" I unwrapped the box I then removed the 7 pounds of newspaper protecting the gift. There was so much paper in there it would have made a "tree-hugger" weep. I remove the paper and I see a framed photo, then another, then another. Before my eyes was a piece of Burgundy and Gold memoribilia that ANY real Redskins fan would covet. Dave, Crystal (His wife) and TJ (their 3 year old) got me individual autographs of "The Posse." Right now if you are saying aloud who is "the Posse?" It's OK, I'll forgive you this time. "The Posse" was one of the NFL's most prolific wide reciever trios EVER! Ricky Sanders, Gary Clark and Art Monk terrorized defenses from the mid 80's until the early 90's. It was beautiful. Ricky Sanders was your slot reciever. Gary Clark was your "burner." Art Monk was your dependable "possession reciever." Those 3 could kill you. Between them and that intimadating "Counter Trey" of the first Joe Gibbs regime. The Washington Redskins were one of the elite offensive teams. This gift is very special to me because this is the time period where I stopped watching Mr. Rogers and "Trollie" and I started watching Redskins running back George Rogers and the monsterous Joe Jacoby. (I am in no way comparing Joe Jacoby to "Trollie!") As the night ended and we watched the Eagles and Cowboys play, I began to form blueprints in my head. Where will I place these autographs? Where in my office will these masterpieces flourish into the centerpiece of my "testostorone palace?" However my thought was interrupted. I began thinking that Art Monk was not enshrined in Canton, Ohio. The classiest and greatest reciever in Redskins history is not in the Hall of Fame. Then the tornado that is my mind, cycloned back to last summer .....

I remembering watching SportsCenter. The lead story was that this years candidates for the Pro Football Hall of Fame were announced. Steve Young, Troy Aikman and then I heard it. It still brings shivers down my spine. The name: Michael Irvin.
To be totally honest with you, I was mad. I was playing out the scenario in my head. Michael "I swear it's not mine," "I swear I have glaucoma" Irvin being inducted into the Hall before Art Monk. It's bad enough Irvin was/is a Cowboy. It's bad enough he was part of the most dominant trio of the 90's. It's bad enough the Cowboys ruled the mid 90's. It's bad enough that Irvin does not mind shameless self promotion. Did I mention it's bad enough Irvin was/is a Cowboy? But C'mon people Michael Irvin before Art Monk, are you serious? To my child-like delight, "the Playmaker" failed to gain enough votes for induction. Though, this sparked a thought in mind. Until Art gets into the Hall, I will have to wrestle with this every year! However, I should not have to go through this battle of good vs. evil. Art Monk is a Hall of Fame caliber player without a doubt. Even if those voting on this seem to have the intellectual capacity of those guys who dress up like rejects from a KISS concert at every Raiders game.

I will prove to you that Art Monk deserves to be the next wide reciever to have his Burgundy and Gold #81 in Canton, Ohio.

The following is a statistical list of noteable "modern day" HALL OF FAME wide recievers as well as Art Monk.

Receptions:
ART MONK 940
Steve Largent 819
James Lofton 764
Fred Biletnikoff 589
John Stallworth 537
Lynn Swann 336

Receiving Yards:
James Lofton 14,004
Steve Largent 13,089
ART MONK 12,721
Fred Biletnikoff 8,974
John Stallworth 8,723
Lynn Swann 5,462

Touchdowns:
Steve largent 100
Fred Bilenikoff 76
James Lofton 75
ART MONK 68
John Stallworth 63
Lynn Swann 51

Art's career statistics are far better than those of Pittsburgh teammates, John Stallworth and Lynn Swann. Many will argue that if Stallworth and Swann were not on the same team their stats would explode. This may be true. However during his career Art had to share footballs with Charlie Brown (not the 10 year old with thinning hair!), Gary Clark and Ricky Sanders.
How impressive would his stats of been if Art was the "main attraction?" However Art would attribute those 3 rings he wears today, to his teammates. Can you say "Class Act?"


He wasn't flashy. He never danced. He played the game of football exactly how it is supposed to be played. Art Monk was "Mr. Dependable" for the Washington Redskins. Along with Clark and Sanders, Monk was a key part of the most elite offensive machine of the 1980's as well as 1990 and 1991.

Maybe Irvin will get in first, but he shouldn't. Irvin was surrounded by names such as Aikman, Emmitt, Novacek and Moose Johnston. Art was surrounded by his Posse and names like Mark Rypien, Doug Williams, George Rogers, Timmy Smith and Donnie Warren. Advantage Irvin. Maybe Art should have danced. Maybe he should have show boated. Maybe he should have coined himself a nice nickname. Maybe he should have grabbed every microphone around and told us about how good he really is. And maybe he should have talked in the third person. But that wouldn't have worked, we would have reminded him that he is a Washington Redskin ..... not a Cowboy.

Art, when you finally get in, everything will be right in the football universe!

Thanks Trot

The Red Sox have declined an option on the contract of long time Red Sox rightfielder Trot Nixon. Trot has ONLY played for the Red Sox Nation. Trot is what I call a "Regional Star." He is a good player that does not make a huge national splash but is loved by their fans. A few other players such as this would Mike Greenwell from the RedSox of the 80's and early 90's, Jose Lind from the Pirates of the 90's and current players such as Baltimore's Jay Gibbons. All are solid players but never recieve the full recognition they truly deserve!

Throughout his time in Beantown, Trot is everything that every ball play should aspire to be. In a day and age of shameless self promotion, Trot was one of a few players to play for the name on the front of the jersey as well as the people that jersey represents. Today's players are out to create an image, one that is marketable. Derek Jeter is the cool, calm and collected leader of the bastards. Opps, I mean Yankees. Andruw Jones is the defensive wizard behind the Atlanta Braves. Albert Pujols is the freak lighting up the scoreboard in St. Louis ... I am in no way saying that these players hype themselves but rather thier team and the media does. Trot is simply and affectionately "The Dirt Dog." Trot is certainly a throw back player. He reminds me of that guy who would be on your high school team who wouldn't wash his jock strap while the team is on a winning streak. Sure, he never put up mind blowing stats but he was the face of consistency in the right field of Fenway! Trot played the game how many people wish today's player would approach it ... All out, all the time!

If Trot has, in fact, played his final game as a member of the Red Sox Nation, I feel there are a few things the Sox must do.
I believe his pine tar covered batting helmet as well as his trademarke dirt covered hat should be placed in the Red Sox Hall of Fame.

With the announcemnet of the JD Drew signing as well as reports that Manny will be staying in Boston, it appears there is "no room in the Inn" for Trot. It is my hope that Trot will be signed by a team where he can flourish and be appreciated for what he brings to the ball park on a routine basis. I believe his style of play would best be suited for the Pittsburgh Pirates. Pittsburgh is a blue colared town who loves hard work! Trot would be loved in Pittsburgh. Besides, I go to a lot of games in Pittsburgh!

During his time in Boston Trot has compiled a batting average of .278, hitting 133 homeruns, and driving in 523 runs. All of this while sporting an impressive .984 fielding percentage in a tricky right field. When Opening Day rolls around, Trot probably won't be apart of the Red Sox team. However, my autographed 2004 World Series picture will still hang on my wall.
Eventhough Trot wears #7 in honor of Yankee great Mickey Mantle, Trot Nixon has epitomized what the Red Sox Nation is all about!

PS. I am not sure if this is flattering, but Lindsay and I will be naming our first dog Trot in honor of "The Dirt Dog."

Thanks Trot!

Yet another Redskins blog ...

Well, another week has gone by and yet another disappointment for me and anyone else who gives a crap about the Washington Redskins. Is it me or are they quickly becoming the New York Knicks of the NFL? They pay the Gross National Product of a large country for talent that gets them virtually no where!

As I sat in the stands at Fed Ex on Sunday, I felt 2 emotions. The first was cold. (If that's an emotion) It was freezing and I am not one to get very cold. My Coke actually got colder as the game went on. And I am not talking about Dexter Manley's coke.(Let me know if you got that!) Lindsay grabbed my hand and she was surprised to feel that my hand was very cold. She thought that perhaps it may be the end of the world since I am always very warm.

The second emotion I felt was disbelief.

The Redskins took an early 14-0 lead and it looked like it was going to be a great day. Betts was running the ball and the defense was slapping Vick around (Eventhough the wuss would run out of bounds anytime Marcus Washington or Sean Taylor was on his tail!) All systems were go for a big Redskins win and the chance to sneak into the playoffs. But then out of nowhere ...... reality slapped me in the mouth!

Missed tackles lead to a Falcons Field Goal. I thought, " No big deal ... 14-3 Skins." But it seemed like we all were expecting a let down, and boy was it ever coming. You know, if we were playing first to score 14 points wins, we would've been sitting pretty. Unfortunately the inconsistency of the Washington Redskins was about to show it's ugly face.

The offense disappeared, the defense stopped containing Vick and we were losing our lead. What once was a joyous atmosphere turned into a sombering realization that money alone does not win Super Bowls, shoot in this case it wont even produce a winning season! To be honest, I am at a loss for words. So, instead of rambling on and on, I have decided to make a new list of what's wrong in DC right now!

#5 - Tackling -
The Redskins cannot tackle at all! There is a story about a group of Girl Scouts who went to visit the Redskins. After about an hour at Fed Ex with the Redskins, the Scout Leader was called to pick up the girls. She frantically hurried to the stadium. When she got there she rushed in and and asked what was wrong. The PR person said, "Nothing, they're just beating the Redskins 21-0 and that red-headed girl with the daisies in her hair has ran for 152 yards." It has always been said that to win in the NFL you MUST be able to do 2 things. Run the ball effectively and stop the run. Well Ladell did his thing but the defense AGAIN blew it. How stupid did the defense look on the 70 yard touchdown run Sunday? Here's a hint guys ... you tackle with your head up and you put your helmet between the ball carrier and the End Zone. I LEARNED THAT PLAYING PEE WEE FOOTBALL!

# 4- Andre Carter -
We are paying him to do what exactly? Last winter, I was excited about our 4 big moves. Randle El, Lloyd, Archuleta, and Carter. Now I am wishing Archuleta and Carter never would have worn a Redskins jersey. Let me ask you this question.
Instead of signing Andre Carter, why not keep LaVar and put him on the ground as a Defensive End. Kind of like Lawrence Taylor and Derrick Thomas .... I would love to see him coming around the corner on the blind side, wouldn't you?
But what do we do? We let him go to the Giants! I am well aware he is hurt for the year,so this is all speculation, but we could have worked something out with him. He did not want to leave Washington. I feel LaVar was screwed over by the whole Daniel Snyder quick fix. Bringing in coach after coach and screwing things up! I have disliked Snyder ever since he moved training camp away from Frostburg, Maryland. He is a schmuck, who has a lot of money but the football knowledge of some dork playing Dungeons and Dragons in his Mom's basement!

#3 - NO HEART -
Last year Marcus Washington and the previously mentioned LaVar Arrington urged teammates to play with as much enthusiasm as they did in college. Remember, where you DID NOT get paid to play! Last years defense was nasty ... sure they missed some tackles (Sean Taylor missing LT in overtime still hurts) but compared to this defense they were Gods! Do they not realize they are the laughing stock of the league? If they were more concerned about making plays and playing with pride than thier freakin image they would be great!
It seems as if our defense is more concerned with how to celebrate after a tackle rather than making one!


#2 - We couldn't cover a blind 3 legged dog! -
Our pass coverage SUCKS. If I see another player get burnt on a slant, I will freaking go postal! Shawn Springs was a late scratch on Sunday. I didn't know this until I saw Kenny Wright get burnt (AGAIN). What I don't understand is our defensive backs are "professionals" yet they suck! Carlos Rogers is turning into a good corner and Shawn Springs is always dependable but we might as well have those midgets from that AE channel (Little People Big World) playing back there in passing situations!

#1 - Al Saunders -
I am about to explode on this one! Our play calling sucks! The 2006 Washington Redskins have been the poster children for inconsistency. One minute our quaretrback is completing 23 of 24 passes, the next he as stunned as an 85 year old woman walking into Victoria's Secret. One game our running backs look like they should be going to Hawaii in February the next they look as if they should be going to the Betty Ford clinic instead. For a while our defense has glimpses of glory, the next game, lapses of retardation. Our offensive line will go 2 games without a penalty, then have 3 penalties on 1 play the next week. However, with all of this inconsistency one thing has been true ... week in and week out. OUR PLAY CALLING SUCKS! I do not want to write too much about this topic in fear that something in my brain my snap. I would then go on a rampage kicking poodles and stealing from little girls! But c'mon Joe ....... Get rid of Saunders. With less than a minute, down by 10, 3rd and goal from the 3, who calls a freaking draw play? If you wanted to run the ball, why not bring in a jumbo package after Campbell spiked the ball to stop the clock? Now I am well aware that Joe Gibbs is a great man. Joe is a stand up guy who will take all of the blame, never throwing anyone under the bus. BUT JOE, AL SAUNDERS IS HORRIBLE! Perhaps Joe doesn't want to shake things up and screw the system up. To answer that I must say one thing. Brian Billick was not happy with his offensive production, so he booted the Offensive Coordinator. And how did that work out for them?

Ok, there it is ... Just a portion of my ranting and raving. I keep telling myself that next year will be the year.
But I am afraid next year I will saying that the year after that will be the year. It is a vicious cycle ... I think I may need help!

Smile on people, Smile on!

The BCS

The leaves have fallen, the weather is colder, egg nog consumption is on the rise and idiots everywhere are paying $3,000 for the Playstation 3. That means 2 things ... Christmas is right around the corner and it's college football's bowl season! But early on this cold November Sunday morning, I am doing much more than just drinking hot cocoa, wearing my Pluto slippers and watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I am sitting at my desk pondering one of life's most bewildering questions. "Where do they come up this mess?" I will attempt to figure the enigma that is college football. All the while, watching my favorite Christmas movie of all time! "What I say? Nipple?"

Yesterday I watched perhaps the greatest rivalry game this season. For someone who thrives off of chaos, as I do, the Michigan/Ohio State game was awesome! I come from a small town in Maryland that annually shuts down the second Saturday of November. As the Fort Hill Sentinels battle the Allegany Campers for the coveted "Kettle." This season, to my delight, Fort Hill steamrolled Allegany 35-14 (GO BIG RED!). This game is one of the largest high school games in the country, not being played in Texas. Every year, the entire city as well as alumni fill Greenway Avenue Stadium bringing the average attendance to 14,000 people. Seriously, you could rob every bank in town and no one would know until the next day! Now I understand that the amount of people attending this high school football game only equals the amount of fans in one end zone section of the Horse Shoe in Columbus, but it proves that to a lesser extent I can understand and appreciate the hysteria of a rivalry game. A close friend of mine lives in Columbus and he sent me an email a few days ago. Here is the email.

"Now, I realize that all of us are fans of some team (whatever sport it may be). But after living through the last week here in Ohio I have decided that none of us are actual fans of anything until we meet up with what fans out here are like. To put it plainly, none of you are real fans.

As of this week I learned how true fans act. I have multiple examples to support my theory.

1) As you all know elections took place just a short while ago. Apparently here in the O-H-I-O, the ladies who ran against each other for Attorney General are in dispute over who won. One of the ladies demanded a recount but the board of elections told them they would have to wait on the results of the recount until after this Saturday's game. They didn't want to cause a distraction during the big game.

2) Ted Strickland who just won his first term as the big OH's governor scheduled his inauguration for Jan. 8th. Those of you who say you're college football fans know that this is the date for the national championship game. Ted, knowing that OSU (yes I just made a prediction) will be in that game also set a second date for the inauguration so that once again, no one would have to miss the action.

3) I was at a funeral today. For the final song of the service, they played an OSU fight song from the OSU marching band CD. Then as we sat around tables at the reception afterward all that you could hear was talk about the game. It was so erie that I didn't really know if this was a funeral or a pre-game lunch.

4) Authorities have requested that Michigan fans not show their team colors until they are inside the stadium where they think they can protect them. Umm...yeah.

So this is my theory, none of us are real fans. Sure we can paint our bodies at ENC (Eastern Nazarene College) games or yell and scream at our teams on TV but when the state's government starts planning events based on the OSU schedule, I have to think that I am staring in an episode of the Twilight Zone. I could go on but honestly, I am not sure it is worth the time explaining what Ohio is like right now. Let's just say, it scares me...

Fearful someone might see this and claim I am a Michigan fan..."

(Great email Jarrod!)



Well, the game lived up to the hype. If you did not watch it or TiVo it, I am wicked sorry! It had everything. Hated rivals! #1 vs. #2! A January 8th trip to the National Championship game in Arizona on the line! Drunk students chanting things at the set of ESPN's College Game Day. Which brings me to this point. How can ESPN's Kirk Herbstreit, a former OSU quarterback, be so unbiased? Dude, if I were him I would rip Michigan every chance I could, screw professionalism! "This team sucks. They flat out suck. They are the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!" It would be 5 minutes later that I would be fired from ESPN and a day before I would be living in an abandoned railroad road car, eating pork & beans out of a can with my riding buddy "Smelly Pete." I am that guy who swore that the Dallas Cowboys sucked after winning 3 Super Bowls in the 90's. Yeah, I'm that guy!

Last night when the clock stopped ticking and the field was covered by a storm of Buckeyes students, that is when the real chaos began! From Gainesville ,Florida to South Bend, Indiana to Los Angeles, California and Ann Arbor, Michigan, the looting and destruction began! Porta Potties were overturned, retirement villages were burned down to the ground, playgrounds were spray painted, old people using walkers and other walking assistants were kicked to the ground, children were told that there is no Santa Claus, all while Priests were punching people ,confessing for their sins in confessional booths, in the face! All because we do not know who would play Ohio State for the title. OKAY, none of this really happened but whichever team is shunned out of the January 8, 2007 date this may become the norm! (It's the end of the world as we know it ...)

Here is the way that I see the whole BSC right now:

1. The Ohio State University
* undeniable #1! Troy Smith + Antonio Pittman + Ted Ginn Jr. = National Title

2. Michigan Wolverines
* Obvious #2. Only lose was to #1 ranked OSU, in Columbus by 3! Did I mention they spanked Notre Dame? The number of points the wolverines scored almost match Charlie Weis' pant size!

3. University of Southern California
* Many say they will leap frog Michigan with a win versus Notre Dame. I have one problem with that. THEY FREAKIN LOST TO OREGON STATE! Someone please start the "OVERRATED" chant!

4. Florida
* If Michigan does not get in and Florida defeats Arkansas in the SEC Championship, they should be playing OSU.
C'mon, it has to be worth something to be the champion of the toughest conference in college football!

5. Notre Dame University
* Realistically, there is a better shot of OJ Simpson maintaining his innocence of the death of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman, than the Fighting Irish playing in Arizona. The way Michigan manhandled them earlier killed them!


Other notables aka NO CHANCE!

6. Arkansas - Loss to USC 50-14 in week 1. Even if they beat Florida in the SEC Championship ... they're done!
7. WVU- Someone please tell me how they are ahead of Louisville? Didn't the Cardinals already beat them?
8. Wisconsin- I didn't even realize they were in the top 10. Hmmm who knew (outside of Madison)?
9. Louisville- Despite beating WVU, the loss to Rutgers really hurt them. Vindication could come December 2 when Rutgers goes to Morgantown to play the Moutaineers. This will be a mess if WVU beats Rutgers! By the way, how did Rutgers fair against Cincinnati?
10. LSU- Uhhhhhh, I'm spent .... whatever. #3 in the SEC wont get it done!

Boise State- I don't care if you're undefeated, the second to last team in the SEC could beat the second best team in your conference! Go back to your blue turf!

Another sign that a OSU/Michigan rematch is on the horizon. The winning numbers in the Ohio Lottery pick 4 was 4-2-3-9.
Looks like I will be sleeping with my night light on tonight!

Well there you have it! I am still drinking cocoa and I am still in my slippers while I watch National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. Hey, I don't know if it is coincidental but as I finish this, we are at an appropriate part of the movie.
It's the scene where Cousin Eddy is dumping the septic tank of his RV in the sewer. Clark Griswold's "uppity" neighbor then leaves his house for a jog as he smells the sewage. Cousin Eddy then looks at him and says, "Merry Christmas, the shi*ter is full!"

As I look at the BCS situation, Cousin Eddy is exactly right!

Smile on people ... smile on!

The ugliest Redskins/Cowboys game EVER!

Week 9

The Washington Redskins defeated the Dallas Cowboys Sunday, in what may be the ugliest game ever! How many ways could either team try to lose this game? Sunday, wearing my Cooley jersey, I sat on the floor and played with Briley as I watched this mess! However, I will take the win! I called my cousin Dave right after the Novak field goal and I said, "Wow, they pulled that one out of their butt!" Dave's reply was, "Hey, I'll take it!" I believe many Redskins fans feel this way, myself included. It is kind of refreshing to be able to wake up on Monday to a Redskins victory. "It makes me feel kind of funny ... like when we used to climb the ropes in gym class." It was ugly .... but it is victory number 3!

Here are a few things I am taking from this game!

*The play calling still sucks! The pitch out to Portis after the fake for a 38 yard touchdown was nice. Other than that, the 700 page playbook was more like a 5 page pre-school book about shapes and colors. In the first quarter the 'Skins have the ball on the goal line. The repeatedly ran Portis and Portis repeatedly got hit, short of the end zone. Ok, I was mad here because last year, we would fake the hand off and find Sellers or Cooley, but not under the Saunders regime. But my true "Incredible Hulk" kind of rage toward the playing calling would come in the Second Half. The Redskins had the ball, 2nd and 8 from their own 30 and they were running Sellers! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! Where was #45 on those goal line tries? Seriously, it must not take much to be an Offensive Coordinator in the NFL. Or Joe just doesn't have the "grapefruits" to tell Saunders he is horrible. One more example of this ... Antwaan Randle El basically won the Super Bowl with his pass to Hines Ward last season. Why are we just now tapping into this?


* I am tired of seeing John Mellencamp use national tragedies to sell Chevy trucks! Seriously, my ears bleed every time I hear, "This is our country!" Honestly John 9/11 and hurricane Katrina does not make me think of buying a Chevy! Just when I thought it could not get any worse, Toby Keith is on there hocking Fords. For a guy who was born in raised in the city, not liking country music and thinking John (Cougar) Mellencamp is a dork, the commercials were Hell! During these commercials I actually encouraged Briley to cry! I cannot wait until next Sunday to hear more of these shameless acts to sell trucks to people by making them think it is a Patriotic act! However, I think a duet with Jackie Chan and William Hung (I pray you know who he is!) would make me buy a Toyota or 3! "She bangs .. She bangs .."

* T.O. SUCKS .... Don't believe me? ... what has he won? Aren't professionals graded upon winning? Honestly, T.O. could have a ring for every finger and toe and I will still say he sucks. Believe it or not Terrell Owens has been in the league for 11 years. Though, he usually doesn't act like a veteran. In his 11 seasons he has played for 3 teams. San Francisco, Philadelphia and Dallas. Statistically he is not the best receiver, Marvin Harrison is ... EASILY. And Harrison's success is not all due to Peyton Manning. You put Harrison with McNabb and I will show you a 5 year dynasty! Owens' departure from the first 2 teams have ended as messy as any celebrity divorce. Did anyone actually see Brittany staying with a loser like "K Fed?" How long will it be until T.O. implodes? Many experts were saying week 8 of this season. However I believe it will come next season. Remember in year 1, Andy Reid, Donovan McNabb and T.O. were holding hands, making gingerbread houses and singing "A Chipmunks Christmas" together.
A few weeks ago I went with my cousin Dave to see the Redskins play Jacksonville. That was an awesome game! I lost my voice 3 separate times that afternoon. Well as we were making our pilgrimage to the stadium about an hour before kick off we noticed a pack of drunks. But these were not ordinary sloppy drunks. These were sloppy drunks with a bull horn! I never knew that Beer + a bull horn + a Cowboys fan wearing an 81 jersey = comedy! You can only begin to imagine the verbal abuse this Cowboys fan went through, while walking through the Home of the Redskins. But this was not any regular weekend. This was the weekend after the whole T.O. suicide soap opera. (Didn't Owens' PR lady look like the bus driver from South Park?) As Dave and I are walking in, behind the Cowboys fan, the drunks saw him. It kind of reminded me of Bruce Willis in Die Hard 3, when "Simon" forced him to wear a racist sign in the middle of Harlem. It was then I heard one of the funniest things ever. In a loud voice coming through a bull horn a drunk finally made sense. He said, "Hey T.O., Sean Taylor came closer to killing you than you ever could!" Of course there were a few expletives in there, but this is a family friendly blog. The crowd erupted and even the Cowboy fan couldn't help but laugh. Which brings me to this point. If a die hard T.O. fans can laugh at the drama that is #81 .... The man must be a joke!
By the way T.O. thanks for "falling asleep" in the 3rd quarter instead of catching the ball that may have beat the Redskins!
You were our best defensive back Sunday!

* Heath Shuler finally won something .....A spot in the House. (What a country!) Heath Shuler won his election in North Carolina Tuesday night. He was running a Democrat, which leaves all Republicans in the house elated because they know Heath's track record. He sucks in Washington!!!!!

* My final thought is this. With the Redskins win over Dallas, they have placed their own fate in their hands. They are back in the NFC chase. If they beat Philadelphia this weekend they are tied with the Eagles and they will be on a 2 game winning streak. On Sunday in Philadelphia, they CANNOT let any receivers get behind the defensive backs. So far this season, the pass coverage has been horrible! This is the Achilles heal .... They need to defend the deep ball and actually make a big play. They are healthy and if they can defend the pass, Gregg Williams can release the dogs and blitz the heck out of any team they face.
With teams like Carolina and the surging Falcons coming into Fed Ex, they better be ready! However, if the Redskins are to make the playoffs, they cannot look past anyone at anytime. They must approach every game, one play at a time. They cannot give up the big play, they cannot make stupid "single A" high school mistakes and they must play with a chip on their shoulders. I don't think it is much fun being called the biggest disappointment in the NFL. Each game they must come out and punch someone in the mouth ... As long as they don't knee anyone in the crotch on Monday Night Football thank you very much Troy Brayton!

* One more thing .... Chris Cooley is 10 times better than Jeremy Shockey!

Smile on People ...... Smile on!


~J~

Louisville? You are freaking kidding!

Last night I watched as the #5 ranked Louisville Cardinals systematically broke down the #3 West Virginia Mountaineers.
I watched as the Louisville fans marked this game as a "blackout." This meant that every fan supporting Louisville would wear black. To be honest with you, it did look really cool! But then out of no where, half of the stadium lighting just turned off.
You know what, it was actually kind of freaky. Reminded me of the WCW (World Championship Wrestling) in the mid 90's when all of the lights turned off and Sting appeared from the rafters for the first time dressed in black and white imitating "the Crow." It just seems a little bit too coincidental that last night .. the lights decided not to work .....
I am sure everyone living within 40 miles of Morgantown West Virginia is not thinking this was more than mere coincidence!
But honestly, the "darkness" in Louisville did not play a factor in this game. They could have played this game on the flippin' sun and WVU still would have lost. WVU is about 2 players and both were banged up and Slaton's left hand prevented him from holding onto the ball. Behind Brian Brohm's 354 yards passing, Louisville played a great game, on every side of the ball.

Obviously, this game has BCS implication. But I am still not sold on this whole idea! As everyone should know, November 18, #1 Ohio State will play #2 Michigan. Let's play this game out in our heads shall we. Lets say, Heisman winner Troy Smith leads Ohio State 90 yards in the final 1 minute to lead OSU to a 1 point t victory. This will leave Michigan at 9-1. Why wouldn't Michigan be good enough to play for the BCS Championship despite the loss? Or why wouldn't Florida be under consideration seeing that they also would only have 1 loss, while playing in arguably the toughest conference in football? If we are going to allow records to be our BCS thermometer should each team's temperature be taken by the quality of their opponents?

Let's break down the schedules of the teams still in the hunt.

Louisville :
Kentucky
@ Temple
Miami
@ Kansas State
@ Middle Tennessee State
Cincinnati
@ Syracuse
West Virginia
@ Rutgers
Southern Florida
@ Pittsburgh
UConn

Florida:
Southern Miss
Central Florida
@Tennesse
Kentucky
Alabama
LSU
@Auburn
Georgia
@Vanderbilt
South Carolina
West Carolina
@Florida State

Michigan:
Vanderbilt
Central Michigan
@Notre Dame
Wisconsin
@Minnesota
Michigan State
@Penn State
Iowa
Northwestern
Ball State
@Indiana
@Ohio State

So who should be playing for the National Title? Honestly I am not sure! I am going to let you all tell me who you think. Should it be any of these 3 teams or do you have a "darkhorse?" (No pun intended WVU fans)
All I know is that I am glad the following teams WILL NOT be playing for a title:
The "U" and Florida State

I have 2 thoughts about the National Championship:
1. There should be a playoff. However even with a playoff format, how will you determine seeds and homefields?
and
2. It would be hard to keep a 9-1 team, who won the SEC, out of a National Championship game!

Now what do I do?

This past weekend was magical! The birds were singing. Children were laughing. Old people were doing whatever it is old people do. And my blood pressure remained where it should. The Washington Redskins were on a bye week. I barely watched any football at all! Sure, I checked out scores and stats for fantasy football purposes, but that was the extent. I let Lindsay take a much needed day off and Briley and I hit the town!!(Pretty sad when getting gas, coffee and going to Big Lots equals a day out on the town!) We were making preparations for her 2 big parties celebrating her 1st year of existence! As I pulled back up to the house and walked inside, I did my routine of taking the 17 layers of clothing off that we use to keep her warm. I then thought, "Dude, what am I going to write about this week."

So my mind began to wander ... as usual! Michigan and Ohio State play in 2 weeks. WVU and Louisville play on Thursday Night. My alma mater the Fort Hill Sentinels will crush the Allegany Campers next weekend. Which is the largest High School football game on the East Coast. The University of Maryland Women Terrapins Basketball Team is ranked #1, being lead by my homegirl Kristi Tolliver. Finally, the NBA season began 2 nights ago. (Boy did the Heat suck or what?) After contemplating all of this I have decided to devote this blog to the National Basketball Association. Which is now playing with a "cow friendly" ball! Thank you PETA now you can fight for the small child making that new basketball in a sweatshop for .13 cents a day!

As we all know today's basketball seems to be lacking something. I remember the glory days of Magic vs Larry and that awesome Christmas Day match up of Michael and the Boys vs. Isiah and the Thugs! Now that was basketball! Don't get me wrong LeBron is a great player to watch, though I thought the whole King James thing was a bit much! D Wade is exciting. Jason Kidd is perhaps in the top 5 of Point Guards of all time. Steve Nash's hairstyles are talked about more than the fact that he knows how to manage a team. And players such as Gilbert Arenas are so underrated it is sickening (see last year's all star game for proof). The NBA right now just isn't what it used to be. I guess the perception of the players has changed. NBA players used to be tough. Remember when Pippen was clotheslined by John Starks and had that bump the size of "Mini Me" on his head? If you even thought of doing that to a player now, automatic 5 game suspension and you could not do any cameos in a Hip Hop video for one year! TV ratings are down and the Association has lost it's appeal.
But David Stern, I am here to save the day. I will give you the Top 5 things the NBA must do to bring the fans back!

#5- "Be a GM for a Night!"

Do you have what it takes to make the big moves? Can you screw you up one of the most proud franchises in sports history?
Can you pay 52 million dollars to 6 players who are not even on your roster? Do you have the management "know how" to sign 4 point guards who don't know how to pass? Can you overpay old veterans who graduated from High School when the first George Bush was in office? Can you sign a legendary, Hall of Fame caliber coach to a multi million dollar contract, only for to fire him or allow him to resign the very next year? If you answered yes to any or "heck" all of these questions, you can become the General Manager of the New York Knicks for a night.

#4- Replace the All Star Game with the NBA's best Ex Cons vs. their Parole Officers

This idea may take a while to really be embraced, but I believe it will work. It's simple. You take every NBA player who has had his "fair share" of run ins with the "Boys in Blue." And you match them up against their Parole Officers. Leading the NBA squad would be a number of current player as well as former NBA All Stars. (Enter Chicago Bulls PA announcer Ray Clay, as The Allen Parsons Project music blares) "And now the starting line ups for your NBA Ex Cons. At Forward the newest Bad Boy of the NBA, the only thing worse than his fight at the Palace in Auburn Hills is his rap career, Ron Artest. At the other forward, the NBA's most overrated player perhaps in League history, Steven Jackson. The man in the middle, who could start his own baseball team with the number of children he has, Ralph Sampson. At guard, once called the "Easy Rider" now he is known as the "I swear I have glaucoma" Isiah JR Rider. And the other guard, the only thing that could match his choking during the playoffs is his choking of PJ Carlisimo, Latrell Sprewell." I think this could really be the beginning of something great!

#3 - Instead of NBA players playing. Somehow have whatever their team name is playing.

Remember the weather has been changing and I am on a NyQuil binge right now! But think about this! Do you want entertainment? Try watching a pack of Timberwolves battle a pack of Bobcats. I would much rather watch this than the previously mentioned Bulls/Heat season opener! Or how about the Hornets versus the Raptors. Freaky, huh? However this would not always work ... I am not sure what a SuperSonic really is and I am not sure what a Net could do? Also, I am not sure how Jazz could strike fear into the hearts of anyone. However I do know one thing. Put your meanest team name on the floor: Cavalier, Warrior, Rocket you name it .... I will take a drunk red headed Irish man from Beantown over them all. Go Celtics!

#2 - "Kick a mascot in the crotch night"

I remember when I was young my Mom would always take me to baseball games in Pittsburgh. This was kind of like our Memorial Day ritual. I remember when I was about 16, my Mom surprised me with tickets to see the Pirates play the Dodgers. Dude, I was soooo excited! We got to Three Rivers Stadium(This was before stadiums were supposed to be pretty) wicked early, for I loved to watch batting practice. Once BP was over we made our way to our seats. Man, they were awesome seats. We were sitting in the first row directly behind the Dodgers dugout. I guess my Mom thought that my quick wit and barbs were much more useful in these seats because the players could actually hear me. You see in the past, we would sit in the outfield seats and I would say all of these funny things to players, the problem was they were roughly 3 miles away! We were lucky to get the seats, they were great. Well actually it wasn't luck. The Pirates sucked and most seats were available especially the seat the Manager sits in. Though the Pirates were bad and their payroll was about as much as the loose change I have in my recliner, I enjoyed the game. We were so close I could hear the coaches talk to the players. I could see the signals from coaches to players. And I could hear players cry about the strike zone. As a kid, I was a student of the game. I would always keep the best scorebook I could. This game was no different, that is until the bird had to ruin it. My premium seat turned into the stage of the idiotic!
I watched as Dodger slugger Mike Piazza walked to the plate. The game was tied at 2 in the top of the 7th Inning. At this time a shadow descended upon my Pirates scorecard and blocking my view of the game was a 8 foot Parrot. The Pittsburgh Parrot to be exact. He danced and danced and danced. But the more I tried to ignore this high school dropout in a glorified Big Bird suit, the more he tried to get my attention. And obviously since mascots cannot talk they rely on gestures and movements to convey their point. I am not sure why but this bird seemed to be doing pelvic thrusts in my general direction. I'll be honest, looking back at it, I kind of felt like a male page working for some old Congressmen. I felt dirty! Just then I hear a "crack." Mike Piazza just sent a 3-2 curve over the centerfield fence and I missed it because of this moron! It was at that very moment
I turned on the mascot.
That is why I am calling on the NBA to make this a monthly activity. Remember in '93? MJ and the Bulls vs. Charles and the Suns playing for the Championship.In Chicago, Barkley was introduced and made his way onto the court. Awaiting him was the Bulls mascot with his thumbs down. Charles playfully slapped the Bull in his "muppetesque" snout. How much funnier would it have been if Sir Charles would have kicked him in the crotch? Just thinking about it makes me laugh!

#1- "Bring your wives to the game"

This idea will be especially good in Utah. All fans are urged to bring their wife or in the case of the Mormons (or any other freaky cult like people) their wives. So you figure, the Jazz would make about 4 or 5 times what they normally do. I know that you are saying to yourselves that this is a pretty weak #1, but really it's not. This has the potential of making the most revenue. To me, this idea has Fox written all over it. Tonight after "When mimes attack, we at Fox will bring you our newest reality show. Wives Swap: Meet your new Moms."

Well there you have it. My ideas to turn the NBA around. If the NBA does not call me I will pitch these ideas to the CFL, the AFL, the XFL, the WNBA, the PBA, the NRA, the CBA, the NBADL, and any other organization who use abbreviations
(Except the BCS, they are screwed up enough as it is!)

Smile on people ... Smile On!

Hail to the who ??????

"Hail to the Redskins Hail Victory.
Braves on the warpath, playing for draft pick #3!"

I remember driving to the Boy & Girls Club over the summer. I was listening to ESPN radio.
Colin Cowherd was talking about football and how pro teams were shaping up. He got to the Washington Redskins.
It really caught my attention. My ears perked up. Kind of like the Minnesota Vikings when you say the words, "sex, party, and boat." (Enter the Love Boat theme) Colin was talking about how dangerous this team was. That talented defense, the explosive offense and the highest paid coaching staff would equal success. I was pumped! Man, you could see the testosterone leaving my car like a trail of smoke. I screamed, "that's what's up!"

Wow, a lot has changed since my moment of Redskins euphoria. Now I find myself calling them every name in the book!
A season full of optimism has gone down in flames. Very reminiscent to N*SYNC's solo careers! A season where Mark Brunell has stated that anything less than the Super Bowl would be a disappointment. What level of disappointment are we at now Mark?

I have complied a list. Ladies and Gentlemen here are the top 10 things to consider about your Washington Redskins:

#10

Why is TJ Duckett still on this team?

Duckett was brought in when Portis was hurt. And even then, he did not get to play much. The trade deadline has since passed. The Redskins could have made a trade to get a decent defensive back! Because we all know that some of the members in this secondary could not cover a little, old lady on a motorized cart! Boy, I can't wait until Steve Smith comes to town! If I were Duckett, I would be the most disgruntled player in the world.

#9

Will someone make a tackle?

This problem actually began last year against San Diego. I love Sean Taylor. I believe he is the catalyst of this Defense. He makes plays and acts as if he has done it before. I cannot stand it when a player , who makes a play that some kid in Kentucky makes every Friday night in front of 700 people, dances around like a Kiebler Elf! If you remember last years OT loss to the Chargers, LT broke several arm tackles to score the winning touchdown. I believe that touchdown ruined our Super Bowl chances. Win that game and home field would have been at Fed Ex Field! The Washington Redskins have some of the hardest hitters in the NFL. But they are sub par at making open field tackles. Anyone can lay a dude out when you blind side him. But can you crush him when he mans up against you? So far the Redskins can't!

#8

Redskins fans ..Stop blaming Brunell!

Mark Brunell is 36 years old. If he were 26 and had this team I would already be booking my flight to Miami or wherever the Super Bowl is this year, but he's not. Whether we want to believe it or not Brunell gives us the best chance to win right now. Todd Collins has been a career benchwarmer and Jason Campbell has not grasped the 700 page play book that Al Saunders uses. A few weeks back as I sat with my cousin Dave at Fed Ex Field (vs. Jacksonville), people were really getting on my nerves. With every incomplete pass people would "boo" Brunell and say, "Get him out of there." Brunell would scramble then throw it out of bounce, NOT TAKING A SACK. "Boo!" Brunell would check down to a back instead of throwing into double coverage to Moss."Boo!" Brunell would give his weeks salary to a 8 year old boy with cancer, whose dog was just hit by a Mack truck while his Mom was telling him there is no Santa Claus. "Boo!" Nothing is good enough for the idiots! And I swear to receive Redskins season tickets, you should have to pass a football intelligence test. We had these guys sitting behind us who I think (KNOW) came from a Star Trek or Dungeons and Dragons convention or something. They had no clue what they were talking about. They were heckling Brunell and then the one kid said to the other."Brunell go back to that other team you played for!" Then they started discussing what team it was. And they couldn't figure it out! I wanted to dump by $25 soda on them and say, "We're freaking playing his old team Spock!" Ironically, it was these same fans who were cheering and going crazy when Brunell threw 3 pretty touchdowns to Santana to win the game. Ok, I need some aspirin!

#7

Carlos Rogers?

This past weekend Carlos Rogers sat the game out. It wasn't against the Texans or a team with a poor to decent, at best, offense. This was the Indianapolis Colts. The offensive juggernaut! And Carlos is inactive with a broken thumb. Normally I wouldn't care, besides what has Carlos done with 2 good thumbs? I was mad because Springs is still recovering from all of his injuries and newly acquired Troy Vincent is still getting his bags unpacked. This left Kenny Wright and Mike Rumph in coverage. Oh Sweet Jesus! Our defense will be nothing until we can cover someone and allow our linebackers to blitz!
Look at the Bears, their DB's aren't that good, they just blitz the Heck out of you, forcing bad throws!

#6

Everyone knows about the freaking screen pass!

In his 700 page playbook, how many pages are devoted to the screen pass? Pssst Al .... the story is out, we know how much the Redskins love to screen. Here's an idea! Now I'm not an offensive guru like you. But, uh, you may want to throw some new ideas into the offensive scheme. How about we set up a screen pass to Moss on the left side. We pump fake the screen and them throw a deep pass to Brandon Lloyd, who was lined up on the right side, running a fly route. Hey just a thought, but I'm not a smart guy like you!

#5

Let Mike Sellers free!

During the Indianapolis game, a Colt DB took a cheap shot at Santana Moss. Santana then head butted him and the Colts player flopped. He looked more like an NBA player taking a charge than a football player. I believe somehow Joe Gibbs needs to let Mike Sellers be the enforcer out there. Just like Arn Anderson was for the 4 Horsemen. He should be the Redskins contract killer. Cheap shot one of our players and sometime within these 60 minutes of football Mike Sellers will steam roll you! After that Cooley will put you in the figure four leg lock! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

#4

Team Unity!

I remember my sophomore year. The entire football team shaved their heads. Being on JV, I was scared to shave my head because I think I have a mis-shaped head. So I had a mo hawk (kind of). Whatever it was I looked like reject from a biker gang! The Redskins must do something to bring them together. As dorky as this sounds, this will help them win ball games.
Look at colleges they do everything together. Dress a like, same pre game routines, stomp on the other team and swing helmets together at them. That's how we do at the "U." It's very heart warming! I mean look at the Red Sox ... Cowboy Up and they all shaved their heads. You must have guys who are willing to be the "rah-rah" guy. Kevin Millar was it for the Red Sox, when he left so did the red Sox chances in my opinion! Clinton Portis, you are the "rah-rah" guy! Every Washington Redskins player should have a mo hawk! And come up with alter egos every Thursday during interviews. Al Saunders, you alter ego is a good offensive coordinator.

#3

Special teams!

This has been the bright spot of the Washington Redskins season. Between Rock and Randle El returning kicks, we know that every punt and kick off could be ran back for 6! However against the Colts. Special Teams stood for "Special" Teams as in small bus! The only player riding this bus was kicker Derrick Frost. After Randle El's touchdown and excessive celebration, which was never shown. The Redskins were already backed up deep on the kick off. Then a special teams disaster happens. Frost came in to punt the kick off. (OK?) And then as he punts, the ref blows the play dead. Frost erupts, apparently he was motivated by Denny Green last Monday Night.T he second he ripped of his helmet Sellers should have given him the Stone Cold Stunner. I was speechless and anyone who knows me, knows that is wicked rare! As I am watching this, holding my daughter Briley, I had to somehow control every thought and every emotion in my body. The only thing I could mutter is, "You idiot!" Though in my head, I was saying a little bit worse than that! The punter of all people ... you have got to be freakin kidding me! Ever see a team kick off from their own 5?

#2

Chris Cooley IS the heart and soul of this team!

I love me some Cooley! He is tough, gritty and good! Every Redskin game I go to you will see me in Section 114, wearing my white Cooley jersey. And in unison with the 90,000 others saying, "Cooooooooooooool" when he make s a catch. Even in last week's loss to Indianapolis Chris played 4 quarters. Even when some guys "mailed it in," Cooley continued to compete. With hard nosed players like him along with playmakers, I am reminded of the good ole days with Donnie Warren, Art Monk and Gary Clark! "COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL !!!"

#1

Believe it or not, this season is not finished yet!
Yes, the Redskins are currently 2-5 and sitting in the basement of the NFC east. But, the Cowboys are done. They have no offensive line and a young quarterback who is supposed to be able to stand up to TO when he rants like a little girl. The Eagles are not as good as they have played. Plus Brian Westbrook is all banged up. The Giants have a defense almost as underachieving as the Redskins. Also, the Redskins have 4 NFC East division games left. 3 of which are at home. If they win these games as well as win 3 of their 5 remaining non divisional games. This team can sneak in! And as every week passes, the Redskins become more healthy! My prediction the Redskins will finish the season 10-6. However this is only if they COWBOY UP and act like a team that wants to start winning and stop being a punchline!

Is my optimism a reason to believe in the 2006 Redskins or a reason to begin drinking ...Heavily?

What's wrong with ARod?

Another baseball season is wrapping up, congrats to the Tigers and the Cardinals! Yadier Molina ... he has 2 more post season homeruns than I do, who would have guessed? However with the Series only 48 hours away, there is one man who is bitter and cold. That man, Darth Vadar himself; George Steinbrenner. Every year since 2000, "the Boss" dominates the coveted back page in the New York newspapers. Every year he creates a buzz! Who will the Yankees buy next? Who will they release? Who will he blame this time for buying overpaid, egocentric pretty boys who would care more about the back of their Yankee jersey if their names were on it. Instead of caring about the pinstripes!

Well folks, this year is following the script perfectly. It kind of reminds me of those old "slasher" movies. You know the one where the pretty 20 something year old girl is scared by some pyscho killer in her house, so she runs to the most obvious place .. the woods. Or it is as predictable as the guy who has been abducted and anal probed 12 times by aliens, who loves him some scotch, his double wide, a pack of Salems and NASCAR. With aging stars and crowd favorites such as Bernie Williams and Gary Sheffield this could be the off season tht makes or breaks the Yanks for the future.

Lets face it, the 2006 edition of the New York Yankees were a mess. Granted they did win the American League East.
(But)The Blue Jays were overrated, the Orioles are the worse franchise in baseball, the Devil Rays have been that, "wait 'til next season" team for 4 years and the BoSox were hurt every conceivable way. The only major injury the Red Sox did not endure this season was Terry Francona stepping in a bear trap! If it weren't for an irregular heartbeat (Ortiz), an inflamed knee(Manny), lymphoma ( Jon Lester), a fatigued arm(Pappelbon), missing the captain and anchor of your team during the stretch (Varitek), a strained bicep (Nixon) and perhaps the largest batch of misfortunes in MLB history, the Tigers would have had to go through Fenway!

However, the Yankees had their share of injury problems as well. Hadeki Matsui and Gary Sheffield were hurt for a large part of the season, Robinson Cano (who I drafted in the 18th round of my fantasy draft last season!) was MIA a lot as well. But unlike the Yankees of recent memory, this Yankee squad had nothing on the "bump." Let's look at the staff. Randy Johnson had spurts where he looked as dominant as in the past but never really came on. This week it has become public knowledge that he will be having back surgery, but will be ready for spring training. However, he is penciled in as New York's #4 or 5 guy next spring. Carl Pavano .... does he still play baseball? I am so glad he did not sign with the Sox! Jaret Wright, a hard
thrower (That's all I got). Mike Mussina, who looked good this season and is usually dependable. Then you have the rock of this staff. At the beginning of this seaon it was obvious that Chien Ming Wang was their ace besides he is being paid league minimum.(Pssssst .. that's sarcasm) But I think thats like 30 million Yen, I'm not sure of the exchange rate. Regardless there is no way he should have had the season he did. Last season he went 8-5 and had a solid rookie campaign, no one saw this coming. Until this season, the only thing I knew about Chien Ming Wang is that from a distance, he reminds me of Brendan Fraiser from the movie, "The Scout." I am still astounded by this. The ace of the "Pinstripes," the team that everyone affiliated with hip hop music loves, the team that Red Sox fans detest, the team that rapes and steals from small market teams by taking one of their best players to only sit them on the bench (Craig Wilson). Though Chacon for Wilson easily favors the Pirates! This team's pitching staff was anchored by a guy who know less English than Sammy Sosa at a Congressional Sub Comittee steroid investigation. I am still baffled! Regardless, Wang was solid. Wow, I laughed as I typed this. Time to grow up!

This season was a strugle for the entire Yankee organization and their fans, but it was a nightmare for one person in particular, Alex Rodriguez. No matter what he did, it was not good enough. Instead of his play on the field that was highlighted, news stories such as his need for a "shrink" and his fatigue due to sun bathing in Central Park are what we remember from A Rod's season. Now this next statement may shock you. Especially coming from a member of the Red Sox Nation, but Rodriguez had a good season. A Rod is among the top 5 third basemen in baseball statistically. Not too shaby coming from a "shortstop" playing third base on the largest stage, under the largest microscope in sports! He did lead all thirdbasemen in RBI, though his batting average dropped and and he did lose 13 homeruns from last season. But because of his shortcomings in October, A Rod is now an outcast in New York. For the New York media and fan base, if #13 did anything less than walk on water, he was a bum. What should A Rod do? Do you live another season being scrutinized for everything? Do you continue being Derek Jeter's bastard, red headed stepbrother? Does he leave New York for a small market team with only a one newspaper and a small arsenal of beat writers under an assumed name given by the Witness Protection Agency. "Now batting for your Milwaukee Brewers, Joe Winchestertonfieldville."

I have the solution. I know what Alex Rodriguez must do to revitalize his career! It is so simple anyone could have thought of this. A chimp in a medical laboratory could have stopped flinging poo long enough to come to this conclusion! A Rod MUST "snap," not like Ryan Leaf. Leaf was a horrible professional, but A Rod is an elite player. Yes, Alex must quit smiling and answering the same stupid question for the 1 billionth time. Instead of acting all cool and careless, he must go to the Denny Green school of interviewing! I want A Rod to go postal, he must or one day he will combust! Think this is stupid? Follow me here. Imagine this. The place is Yankee Stadium. The Yankees are playing Boston. It is the top of the 9th inning. Kevin Youkilis is on third while David Ortiz is on first. The Yankees bring in Mariano Rivera. Metallica is playing the background and the place is going crazy. Next up for the Red Sox is Manny Ramierez. Manny digs in and Rivera is pitching from the stretch. A double play would end the game and send the crowd home with yet another reason to love the Yankees. The pitch surprises Manny and he beats a ball hard into the ground. It looks to be a routine double play to Jeter. A perfectly hit ball to the catalyst, the captain, the face of the Yankees Derek Jeter. As the ball is rolling towards Jeter, Alex says, "Yo, DJ your designer Jordan sweatbands clash with your eyes AND your designer Jordan spikes." Just then Jeter becomes worried about how he looks, takes his eyes off the play and "boots" the ball. Youkilis scores and the BoSox go on to win the game. After the error Jeter looks at A Rod and says, "Geees Louise Alexander why would you go and do a thing like that, by gosh!" At this time Rodriguez goes crazy. Remember former WCW wrestler Bill Goldberg? A Rod spears Jeter then gets up and has a crazy glare in his eyes. Kind of like Bobby Boucher when people would spit in the "c-c-cooler." But A Rod's doesn't stop here. He needs to be a ticking timebomb. Remember when Milton Bradley would go after people in the stands? You need to add Milton Bradley, Ron Artest and Bill Romanowski. And just for a little flavor add the mental ability of John Rocker!

He needs to throw chairs into the stands. If he wants to make his point, he needs to hit a pregnant lady, a few elderly people, some kids, sightseers from China and perhaps some handicapped kids. And if given the chance, instead of pushing Don Zimmer down like Pedro did, A Rod must powerbomb him (Tommy Lasorda will fit here as well). Add all of this with an imaginary friend named Bambino by his side and we will have ourselves a great player waiting to be put on the 5th floor.

But A Rod has a large contract, he may very well still be a Yankee next season. Besides, if A Rod does stay in New York, he could always wear a straight jacket. Because the way he fielded his position this season .... a straight jacket may help!

Something's wrong with your Modula oblongota Colonel Sanders!


Smile on People, Smile on!

Editor's Note: I would like to thank Mr. Ryan Rondorf for the inspiration to write this piece. As we endulged on a wonderful Public School System lunch, we both schemed this idea. Dorf, you complete me ..*tear* Ok, that's a little dramatic! Thanks Ryan! TA's for Life! ..... SIKE!

Welcome to the Sports Blender!

Hey sports freaks!

My name is Jeff and this will be the official site for my ranting and raving of all things sports! As you regularly read my spot, I will make you laugh, cry, question your sanity, and I will probably piss you off .... a number of times!

Just to get us aquainted here is some background information about myself:

I LOVE my daughter (Briley) and my "better half" (Lindsay).
I LOVE the Washington Redskins
I LOVE chocolate milkshakes
I LOVE the Boston Red Sox
and strangely
I LOVE Alex Rodriguez ( He single handedly screwed up the Yankees season, I love him *tear*!)

And now for the things I am not a fan of,

The New York Yankees (Enter Darth Vadar music)
The Dallas Cowboys
T.O.
Poodles
The French
Anything organic

Stay tuned for the excitement!

Smile on People, Smile On!

~J~